


Zero Gravity; or the wondrous adventure of the world's end twins

by redNAUT



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill has a heart, Bill is kinda messed up, Cipher Zodiac Signs, Gen, Here at least, Human Bill Cipher, Human William Cipher, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Not Beta Read, Supernatural Elements, Zero Gravity AU, and Dipper needs a vacation, but not 'that' messed up, these kids just need a hug, timeskips and flashbacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 05:05:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14804924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redNAUT/pseuds/redNAUT
Summary: My take on TanoSan96's AU. Bill Cipher is over and done with this world's rules. Why is even the tiniest flicker of happiness meant to be over in a flash? Why couldn't things just stay fun and safe and nice? What had anyone done to deserve this?People shouldn't have to suffer through the pain that was reality. To have everything you believed to be true change in one fateful, nasty fall.So, alongside his slightly unwilling brother, Bill would change rules. Replace them with only the best things in life; an endless party. And he had found the help he needed: Zero Gravity's #3 journal.Now, if nosy guardians could just mind their own business and hand over what he needed, it would make his task easier.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Zero Gravity AU](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/386507) by TanoSan96. 



**The beggining, also known as the prologue**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> _If the sky is set aflame and falls, will all the stars come down with it? I think, if we all are to die one day, death by star fire would be the most wondrous way to do so._

_-A memory, from a long, long time ago…_

* * *

 

Everything burned.

His cheek, and the muscles on his backside, arms and legs. For how long had he ran? How far? He hadn’t got a clue, nor did he care as long as it was far, far away.

He just wanted everything to end; for things to reset. To go back to the time he didn’t have to wonder whether he and his little brother would have something edible to eat that night. Whether he wouldn’t have a broken finger, leg, hand, or toe that month; nor worry if his sibling would be able to live one day without shaking constantly and jumping out of fear for every little thing.

Back to the time the mere sight of his smile didn’t meant sleeping in the streets; to have the reek of alcohol and rottennes invading his senses even in his daydreams. He often wondered why this was supposed to be reality; and if so, why did it had to be theirs? What had _they_ even done to deserve this? They were kids! Kids weren’t supposed to be terrified of going back to their own house, were they?

Why was everything so unfair? So awful? He only wanted to have more fun days in the sun; endless moments full of joy and wonder, like most children his and his lil’ bro’s age surely had.

Bill took a deep breath, feeling the sting from the cut on his cheek pulse as if it was being opened all over again.

This time had been different; scarier, deadlier.

For the past three years, Bill thought he had managed to cope. He had always possessed a tendency to push his problems to the back of his mind; his first line of defense a mouth full of quick, witty remarks in order to handle his peers and teachers alike. No one dared to question the ‘Mad King’ nor messed with his brother; he had no real friends, and that was fine by him. None of them would understand, anyway.

At what-used-to-be-his-home, his sharp sense of humor usually earned him a slap to the face and an empty stomach. Worst case scenario, he would smile. That would surely earn him a night with Mr. box; but it was all worth it as long as Will remained unscathed.

That wasn’t the case this time.

Will was a small, timid boy; constitution weaker than it should be thanks to their house’s ever meager food supplies. His twin was certainly no match for that monster, much less if he looked at it with those big, soft cerulean eyes; for they, very much like Bill’s grin, were a trigger. Ever since that first… incident, and even though Bill _loved_ his little brother eyes, he made sure Will always wore contacts on the house.

[His screams still reverberated in his ears, like a cacophony muffled by Bill’s own panicked thoughts]

[ohgodpleasenopleasenonothimIbegyouIswearIsweargoddamnit-!]

There was no one else to blame for the monster’s wrath but Bill himself; after all, Will had been trying to protect _him_ after the first trigger fired. He, who was the eldest, and therefore the responsible of providing the comfort the adults in their lives couldn’t or wouldn’t give them… it certainly must had been his fault. Paycheck this month hadn’t come on time, and thus Bill hadn’t been able to buy new ones before they ran out.

He was pretty sure, if he dared to look, Will’s throat was by now a violet shade. A hand mark engraved on the ivory skin of his neck…

What truly surprised Bill was how easily they had managed to get away.

It had been a silly plan, really; practically made on the spot on that gray, fuzzy day. It felt now like it all had happened a lifetime ago; even though a mere few years had went by. None of them, of course, expected it would all end like _this_. Always hoping everything would get better; that they would return to what used to be _normal_.

But today's incident was the straw that broke the camel's back. The decision was taken without any verbal confirmation; it wasn't necessary.

They both knew a line had been crossed; what little remained had been broken. There was, now for real, nothing left in that place for them.

They had backpacks full with all the indispensable, stuffed into the farthest corner of their closet. Wanda’s monthly allowance was safely tucked away in the wallet his father had gave him on his 9th birthday.

It was a little depressing, really; everything Bill and Will held dear could now fit in two middle sized backpacks.

Double checking everything was in place, they went down half expecting the back door to be locked; the only spare key on its lair. It wasn’t, and Bill suspected its companion of the month had left it open. Or who knows? Maybe _it_ had been _hoping_ it would come to this.

Not wanting to thank their lucky stars just yet, Bill took his brother’s hand and ran out of the door.

He never looked back, not even once. Since he didn’t want to become salt or be turned into stone, the boy kept himself in check and forced his legs to go forward.

Always forward.

When the bus station came into view, Bill finally allowed himself to let go; and his chest hurt so much from running, but also from grieving. Tears, each one filled with bittersweet memories, streamed from the eyes he hated so much

And as he cried for the past that was gone and the future that was taken, Bill couldn't stop thinking, over and over again, the next few words:

"Reality is nothing but a cruel, useless illusion"

He hated it.

And he had come to learn; what one hates, one seeks to destroy.

 

.

.

.

Will idolized his brother; even if he was a little twisted, he wouldn’t have him be any other way.

Yet, as they boarded the bus for a place with a name Bill hadn’t bothered to get right, Will had to stop and look.

His brother almost never smiled; he couldn’t, not with how… how ‘it’, as Bill dubbed him, reacted upon it. But Will really _loved_ his big brother’s smile; dimpled and full of mischief, and as blindingly bright as his sun colored hair.

But Bill’s expression as they took their seats and started drifting off to dreamland set off alarm bells in his head.

It wasn’t the usual slightly cocky mask he wore at school, nor the mocking one that sometimes slipped at the house, nor his almost extinct delighted grin. No, the line in Bill’s mouth just now was more… crooked; mad, as if he was now truly living up to his “Mad King” title.

But even when his better judgement told him not to, Will tucked his concern and buried it in the farthest of his mind. After all, Bill would never do something to harm him; that was the only truth of Will’s existence.

Convinced he was most likely just overthinking again, Will finally allowed himself to doze off completely.

He didn’t wake up, nor did his brother, even after the large sign that read “Welcome to Zero Gravity, Oregon” flashed through the window pane the day after they ran away.

They didn’t notice, as the bus sailed through the dark looking woods, the eyes shining in the reflection of the window; even though they were the only passengers left on the vehicle.

.

.

.

_Next up: Chapter I “The world’s most boring, uneventful town newest gossip; or the restless souls of the not so haunted cabin.”_


	2. Chapter I: This kind of haunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero Gravity is a normal, quiet, small town. So, when strange rumours concerning their very own, rather common and cliched creepy cabin in the Dark Woods, panic arises. Well, sorta; not really. It just becomes small town's ghost gossip.  
> So yeah, the usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gravity Falls still belongs to Alex Hirsch people. We need to get over it; as well as the show... something I'm doing a rather shitty job at.

 

 

**Chapter I: The world’s most boring, uneventful town newest gossip; or the restless souls of the haunted cabin.**

**.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _"The simple truth is that you can understand a town. You can know and love and hate it. You can blame it, resent it, and nothing changes. In the end, you're just another part of it."_
> 
> -Brenna Yovanoff

* * *

.

 

.

Susan was as normal a woman as they make them; bad eye and all.

She owned the only canteen in Zero Gravity that hadn’t as of yet: a) poisoned their clients; b) broke the record of damaged property; or c) cooked meat of dubious origins. She actually served good food, even if it exceeded by far the recommended calories per day; but Susan herself still hadn’t died of a stroke, so no worries there.

Born and raised in this town, she had grown to like the quiet, natural slight plainness Zero Gravity had to offer. It never ceased to amaze her, with how fast-paced and ever changing everything was nowadays, how her hometown always appeared to remain the same; like a figurative stoney-like thing, indifferent to the waves of time. That in and for itself was rather wondrous, at least to Susan; an old, single woman in the midst of a chaotic world.

However, of course there were times routine was interrupted. Abruptly. Like right now.

-I swear to you, it _is_ haunted!

-Piss off, woman, that ain’t true

-But it _is_ , you ja-

-Oi brats- called her only waitress, Tambry -keep it down, and watch your fudging language, this is a respectable family establishment

-Yes…- the kids grumbled, then under their breath -mom…

-Sorry, what was that?

-NothingseeyoubyeSusan!

And as quick as they came, they ran away. And without paying... again. Susan sighed, remembering to add it to their parents' bill.

She may be a normal woman, but that didn’t mean she was a poor one. Shame almost no one in the town knew she had accounts in Switzerland. Meh, their loss.

Now, a ghost? _That_ was interesting.

.

.

.

-So, you're telling me there’s something odd in the lone, creepy looking cabin, which is deep in the Dark Woods?

-Er… yes sir

-And that reports suggest that this oddity in that creepy looking cabin in the even creepier Dark Woods is a paranormal entity?

-Pretty much sir; and based on multiple eye witnesses claims… well, it’s probably a ghost, or even multiple ones

-Oh my, what would make them say that flying tables, weird looking shadows looming around the place, chain and moaning noises and weird unidentified substances found nearby are signs of a ghostly presence?

-Well, sir… mayhaps ‘cause all of those things you just mentioned are pretty much the description of a haunting, sir?

-Holy Jelly gums! Are they? You sure?

-Yes sir, I’m quite sure

-Oh, I thought those were signs of a mutant slug attack, but whatever; what do you suggest we do then, son?

-Maybe someone could go and investigate, sir? Zero is a small town, so news that can cause collective panic can spread rather quickly… sir, what are you doing?

-I’m calling my wife

-Your very much pregnant wife, sir?

-Yup, the one and only

-For what, if I may ask, sir?

-To investigate this case, of course!

-Sir, wouldn’t it be better to send someone more experienced? Like someone from the Telepathy tent?

-No, no, we can’t bother them with this petty thing! Trust me, Melody will do just fi- Hello, dear? How do you feel about an investigation in the creepy lone cabin in the even creepier Dark Woods?

-… I need to make a call, sir

.

.

.

The creepy lone cabin in the even creepier Dark Woods was the mystery of mysteries of Zero Gravity, Oregon.

Built sometime then and there, no one knew exactly when it had made its appearance known to the small, slightly dull and underpopulated town. Sometimes, it felt as if it had always been there, ever since the very beginning; even when some of the townsfolk were certain it _wasn’t_.

It was as if it had just… appeared. Fitted itself into the lives of Zero’s habitants, like that uncomfortable uncle one had to recognize existed in your family tree... which was actually kind of creepy, if you thought about it. Anyway, at some point its presence had become a natural part of the scenery, so everyone just assumed its existence as something normal.

The building itself was truly odd. It appeared to have been inhabited once; even if it was probably just a hobo, a raccoon family, or the odd man who had married a bird and a squirrel in a polyamory relationship. Made of a wood so old and darkened no one could tell anymore which one it was; it had several holes on the roof, the porch, and even in some of the walls. The shape was somewhat normal, but some people swore the structure sometimes changed  its orientation; as if it was following the sun.

Adults advised kids not to go there; the building was so old the wood was probably rotten, and thus unsafe to walk in. Still, some teenagers went there from time to time, as some sort of courage test; they all agreed there was nothing scary about it, except for the uncertainty of tetanus and a rather large list of possible diseases lurking at every corner.

No one in Zero really did refer to the cabin as haunted. With the exception of its appearance, never had something that could be deemed as 'paranormal' happened while someone was in there. It was creepy, sure, but not as terrifying as the woods themselves were.

Until two weeks ago, when strange incidents were reported in the vicinity of the cabin.

Mayor Ramirez had been notified and, as it always happened in moments of dire need, he did what just what everyone was expecting him to do: he sent his wife, the dear lady Melody.

No one complained. After all, Mrs. Ramirez was one of the few people in town who could completely grasp the greatness that was the mayor; a feat no less impressing if she wasn’t also her husband's handywoman. She was an important piece of the community, and if it was her the one the mayor got on the case, none was the wiser.

Zero Gravity would sleep soundly if the Lady Mayor was the one in charge of the investigation. That much was a fact.

How Melody felt about that, no one could really tell. After all, it was hard to know if she found her husband’s antics annoying or completely endearing; with how calm she always appeared to be, the woman was probably just used to it, and acted accordingly.

Exactly three weeks after the first report of the anomalities, the town’s dear Lady went to Zero Gravity's infamous not-so-haunted-now-haunted cabin.

Lady Melody stood with a calm smile; both hands on her waist and large belly pocking from her frilly dress. She turned towards her companion, the town’s most knowledgeable person -cabin related, at least.

-Well, Susan, what do you think?

Said woman blinked with her only good eye, sniffed the air, and then munched on her dress. She grimaced.

-That girl definitely mixed the ingredients; I clearly said pink satin milkshake, not chocolate chips fudge

The town’s first Lady nodded sagely; as if accustomed to this kind of conversation.

-Experimenting again with clothes and food?

-What can I say?- Susan answered proudly -She has spirit! Always looking for new things to add to our list of greasy ingredients way above the recommended portions!

Both women paused their conversation when they heard rustling from the bushes just to their right. Out of nowhere, Melody pulled a bat, while Susan blanded a heavy looking pan; they looked at each other and nodded.

Just as they neared the bush, which for some reason had stated shaking, a high pitched screech bursted from behind them. Startled, they turned their heads towards the sound.

Nothing was there.

The sound of a closing door suddenly reverberated through the forest; everything went deadly quiet. Susan noticed, with little to no surprise, that a sign had appeared on the ground.

-G…go? Ah, yes, go, hm… a…away? Ah, I get it, “go away”- she turned towards Melody with a soft smile -it seems we have a rather cliched ghost, dear.

The towns First Lady hummed, rubbing her chin.

-And they seem to have blue and blond hair, too; how peculiar

-A rare color choice for a ghost indeed…

They shared a knowing look.

-I do hope paranormal entities appreciate my smore and mac & cheese sandwiches- said Susan good naturedly -they're a classic

.

.

.

They left the unhealthy, heart stroke developer food there, along with two notes. The first one was a rather candid warning about rotten wood and the multiple diseases one could catch from it. The other was a document that read:

_Scripture of the creepy looking cabin in the even creepier Dark Woods, endorsed by the only notary in Zero Gravity, Mr. John Kerps Jr._

_1 dollar and 85 cents, change._

At the margins, in a rather unreadable letter, it read as follows:

_Your names here, dudes_

_(You can totally pay latter; it’s cool dudes)_

_P.S. And you have to go to school, you know dudes. So we kind of took the liberty of enrolling you; but you kind of have to come to the office, though. You can’t be Mr. Unknown 1 and Mr. Unknown 2 if you wanna stay here, dudes._

_P.S.S. oh yes, you’re rather welcome here, it helps increase the population, so no worries there dudes._

_P.S.S.S. also, we have to do something about that house of yours dudes. It ain’t good for two little children to walk trough that health death trap. I’m a father, so I know what I’m talking about, serious dudes_

.

.

.

The next morning, two scrawny looking children appeared at the entrance of the Town Hall's main building.

They claimed themselves to be the Cipher twins, Bill and Will.

Both wore matching, slightly faded sweaters; one yellow and the other blue, its only decoration being a masonic pyramid. Later, when someone offered to have them washed, their reaction was appaling; the blue one recoiled on himself, whereas the yellow one practically snarled at everyone in the room to [f word] off. The mayor’s secretary seethed from indignation; but Mayor Ramirez himself just laughed, called them ‘dudes’, and hugged them; to both children’s obvious discomfort (and surprise) and his secretary’s exasperation.

.

.

.

On the spring of 2011, the Cipher twins became officially a part of Zero Gravity, Oregon. And very much like their new home, to the locals it felt like the unusual pair had a natural place in Zero Gravity. As even though they had always been a part of them; even though everyone was sure they weren't. But hey, a lot of them thought, maybe then it was destiny.

And all was normal.

Or at least it was until Bill found the journal the next summer.

.

.

.

_Next up: Chapter II “I present you: a time skip and a book; or how the Cipher twins begun a truly eventful, not at all regular summer”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just to make things clear: the actual story will start almost a year and a half after the events in this chapter. There will be flashbacks between here and there that'll glimpse into the Cipher's first interactions with the townspeople, as well as their lives in ZG. These will help me to explain how they formed the relashionships they have in the present story without having to force them on the characters.


	3. Chapter II: The book of the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year later, twins Bill and Will do a favor for the mayor. Also, Bill's sense of orientation sucks, and Will discovers his appeal... just not how he expected.

**Chapter II “I present you: a time skip and a book; or how the Cipher twins begun a truly eventful, not at all regular summer”**

**.**

 

 

 

 

> _“It matters not how strait the gate,_  
>  _How charged with punishments the scroll,_  
>  _I am the master of my fate:_  
>  _I am the captain of my soul.”_
> 
> ― William Ernest Henley, Echoes of Life and Death
> 
>  
> 
> _"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”_
> 
> ― Lemony Snicket
> 
> * * *

.

.

_And then, like a breeze, a year flew by…_

_._

_._

-Ouch! Stupid hammer… remember me again Will, why do we have to put these on?

Said blue-haired boy, who was a little further ahead down the road, turned to give his twin a deadpan look. His arms were full to the brim with signs, akin to the one the Mad King was currently trying to stick on a tree; and failing miserably, much to the blond’s frustration. Most of said signs had messages along the lines of: “Mad King’s territory ends here”, or “Careful with the bear, it eats money”; and Will’s personal favorite: “If you step in there and _do_ get back, you’ll get a lovely kiss… from Susan.”

\- Bill, seriously? Need me to remind you one more time just _who_ promised Mayor Soos we would hang these, _today_? And that said person, and I quote, stated “I’ll be fun to get some fun reactions out of those ridiculous signs”, hm big bro?

Bill scoffed and grumbled; looking away with a dust of pink on his cheeks. He had to admit that, even when he was rather glad Will had started coming out of his shell, it was also a big pain in the ass for him. His brother motherlike tendencies were getting more and more unnerving with each passing day; Bill swore one of these days his lil’ bro’s nagging would give him an aneurism. To add further insult to his agony, in a truly sadistic turn of events Melody (in a completely intentional manner, mind you), had gifted the small blue haired boy a pink apron; matching, hearth patterned gloves included.

The town’s First Lady rejoiced in Bill’s agony whenever he was scolded by Will in that outfit; of that he was certain. She even took a picture once! And freakin’ send it to Susan and her even weirder granddaughter! Gross, man… and also embarrassing as hell.

-Stupid phycological help… ouch!- he kept fumbling with the signs as he grumbled under his breath -stupid useless things with even stupidier useless message- Ow! Oh, come on! For the love of-Why does Ramirez even wants these things put on so _badly_?! It’s not like someone will die from, you know, a multibear or something weird like tha- Huh? Will?

When Bill finally took notice of his surrounding, he discovered two things: first, he was in a weird part of the forest; which wasn’t saying much, ‘cause the forest in its entirety was pretty freaking weird. But two, and more important, he was alone; no trace of Will´s shock of blue hair in sight.

Well, shit. It appeared Bill had gotten himself lost.

.

.

.

The presence had been wandering the whole day, in search; always in search…

It had almost given up when it decided to go take a piss. What? Presences also had physiological needs, mind you; even if those needs involved sucking on an unfortunate soul or two once in a while.

So, as it was… doing its business as presences do, the smell came.

It was faint, at first. But then it hit its nostrils like a mastodon at full speed; washing over its senses like an unstoppable wave of delicious aromas that although the presence couldn’t quite place, enticed and marveled it to no end.

So the presence searched for the source of such rich scent in a crazed frenzy; it found it a few moments later.

It was a small, gentle looking human boy; kind blue eyes the same shade of his hair. The presence inhaled deeply: blue boy smelled sweet. Just like… those fluffy things humans were so fond of stuffing themselves with; inflating till they became a greasy mass. But not this boy; no, blue boy was slender and delicate. Sweet and so, so soft.

The presence smiled, its razor like sharp teeth glowing in the dark of the forest.

It had finally found it; the moment had come. The moment for the presence to claim what was rightfully its.

.

.

.

Bill was pretty sure he had been walking in circles for a while now. The tree he had just passed was exactly like the one he’d tripped on two minutes ago; at least he thought so. Pretty hard to tell with trees, to be honest.

-Stupid Ramirez, this is all HIS fault; if he hadn’t asked us to hang the damn signs, we wouldn’t have had enter this goddamed creepy forest in the first place, and if we hadn’t ventured into this creepy forest we wouldn’t have gotten separated, and then I wouldn’t have gotten lost, and thus would be- OH MY GOD I’M FREAKING SPEAKING TO MYSELF, NOW I’M GONNA GO BATSHIT MAD LIKE THAT CRAZY OLD GEEZER AND MARRY A RAC-oof!!

Prepared to either curse, kick, or spit at whatever had made him trip this time, Bill paused. It was a stick… well, it _looked_ like a wooden stick; but Bill was pretty sure it wasn’t. The bruise on his leg wasn’t from a wooden stick; he had experience with those. Not thinking about the possible consequences, the blond boy reached for it; it felt cold. Like metal kind of cold.

Again thoughtlessly, in complete disregard of his own safety, Bill pulled the stick; level, more precisely.

He heard the distinct sound of something clicking somewhere to his left.

When the Mad King turned towards the source, he startled. There, right next to him, lied a fallen tree trunk; the kind one expects a rabid squirrel to pop out from (Tisney movies could go and hang themselves, forest animals were anything but gentle). This trunk, however, as he discovered when he kicked it tentatively, was hollow and metallic. Upon closer inspection, he realized it had a little door; which, to Bill’s guess, the level had opened.

Had Will been there, Bill would have had his ear chewed off by now; but he wasn’t, and Bill was anything but prudent. So he reached inside the trunk, leaning his weight on his other hand as he crouched on the ground; his hand felt something, so he grabbed it. When he pulled it out to have a better look, he squinted.

Genuinely confused, the young boy said out loud:

-A book…? What in the freaking hell is this doing here?

.

.

.

A strong gust of wind swept the forest,  a flock of dry leaves disappearing into the already darkening sky. The pages of the book flew open, flipping by at an amazing speed; the blond covered his eyes with one arm in reflex.

Before he could really think about what had just transpired, Bill heard a scream.

And it wasn’t just any scream. Years of experience with that particular sound had his legs springing him up and forward almost automatically.

-Wiiiiillllll!!!

.

.

.

Will always thought he was plain looking; ever since he and his twin were little.

His romantic experiences at school, far and in between, had never proved it otherwise. Girls said he was nothing special; boring, not funny, and a scaredy cat who probably still pissed his pants. Said rumors stopped being a common occurrence when Bill became the “Mad King”; but it never fully stopped them from existing. He could hear them behind his back; in the hallways, the library, the bathroom, and even when the dreaded moment to go back home came by.

At first, it had stung; specially whenever girls he kind of liked thought so lowly about him. After a while, though, he stopped caring; there were far more pressing matters at home to be fussing about petty affairs.

In short: Will had never, unlike his brother, considered himself as attractive.

So when he was kind of kidnapped by an unknown, paranormal entity who told him he smelled nice, he felt, for starters, confused… and maybe a tinsy tiny bit grateful for the praise. When panic finally set in he was, for the most part, terrified; however, a small, contradicting part of him was excited.

This part kept fanboying about supernatural creatures. The Channel that used to be of History had been right all along! So yeah, take that, middle school!

But William Cipher had priorities. Like, you know, looking for a way out of this mess; or at least finding out what the hell was going on.

-S-s-so…?- he said, trying (and failing) to sound smooth -w-what exactly are you planning to d-do…? Er… miss, I g-guess…?

The creature stood up on its hinder legs, waving its tail. It looked like a… like a crossbreed bewteen a frog and a lizard which had, for some reason, antlers.

-My name is Neela, and I’m a nymph- Will spluttered at that; well, he would have, had he not been hanging from his feet and thus risking drowning on his spit.

The creature smiled; a rather sharp row of teeth twinkling like polished butcher knives.

-And you, little blue boy, are my groom; we are to be wed, mate, and then I’ll have to eat you- she bowed her head apologetically -sorry buddy, nymphs mating rules are rather barbaric, I’m afraid

Will paused.

Will blinked and stared.

Will’s brain processed what he had just heard. He blinked again; hard.

And then Will screamed bloody murder.

.

.

.

Bill’s sense of orientation was shit. That much everyone who came to know him (not a lot of people, actually) knew about.

However, he had a rather keen hearing; specially when his brother was involved. So he let his feet follow his ears, and ran as fast as he could.

However, the book he had just found kept opening itself over and over again; on his face.

-Stupid wind! What the hell?! I’m not even lifting it that much, stop it!

The book, for some reason, hit him square in the face.

-Goddamit! I swear- wait, what is this?

Pausing for a little bit, Bill scanned his surroundings. He was near a some kind of stream; he could hear water running. Suddenly unnerved, sensing something was off, he did what he always did in these cases: follow his gut. And his gut told him to crouch nearby the bushes, and crawl towards the sound. Bill advanced across the thick foliage; looking for a wisp of blue to alert him of his twin’s presence.

When he finally neared the clearing, Bill saw a beautiful waterfall with pretty flowers and willow trees surrounding its pond.

He also saw a G*tzilla like beast with antlers about to feast on his brother.

Will, whose whining he hadn’t miraculously heard, was now rambling at an alarming speed. Bill could make out the sentences “Please dear” “Cupcakes don’t taste well” and something that he seriously hopped wasn’t true, “What will our children think?!”.

 Alarmed, Bill was about to jump to action when the book hit him on the face. Again.

-Listen here, you pile of shitty old paper- he hissed -hit me again, and we are gonna have a problem; what is it you want me to see so much, anyway? you keep opening this page as if its- oh, OH!

The page the book had been constantly being opened in, showed a drawing. A drawing that pretty much looked like the thing about to eat his sibling.

-Nymph? You can’t be serious; its ugly as fu-fudge- his eyes quickly read the contents of the page -lets see… _This creature usually lives in the forest; they have different classifications depending on their element. They can live in hollow trees, rocks, and nearby the ponds and lakes. They possess unnatural strength and speed; which they use to hunt, be it preys or their potential mates, the latter which they devour as a part of their breeding proc-_ what?!

So that thing wasn’t just about to eat Will; it was about to do the deed with him. Gross +1000 man!

-Not on my watch Gotzuko, I’m way too young to be a brotherless uncle… come on, come on.. Aha! Weakness! _What none of them take too kindly to is…_ oh, come on! you can’t be serious dude, that’s just gross!

He heard Will screeching again as the monster started crushing him to its chest.

Well, gross or not, it was this or nothing. Bill wasn’t just about to watch his sibling get taken advantage of; couldn’t that thing see he was a child! That’s ped- nope! He stopped himself before that particular train of thought could go any further and leave him with nightmares for months.

With this new piece of information in mind, Bill covered his nose and started searching. He was so going to need a bath after this; and therapy.

Lots of therapy.

.

.

.

Getting a nymph bride, which mating rituals involved him in their first’s date menu, wasn’t how Will pictured his day going.

Maybe hearing Bill complain all day about how much of a crazy old bat Mayor Soos was; and then being completely hypocritic and dinning at the Mayor’s house. Himself helping Mrs. Melody and Abuelita with cooking; his favorite part of the day, whenever it happened. Which was a lot, in spite of Bill’s complaints and refusal to accept he _did_ liked the Ramirez’.

He even thought they could stop by Susan’s and hang out a bit with Pyronica; then again, against Bill’s claims to hate them both. They could have even ran into his and Bill’s friends; even when his twin referred to them as his ‘lackies’.

All of the above were fine, normal; Will’s new, and rather beloved, routine.

 _This;_ this was not fine.

As he was crushed to Neela’s chest, Will lamented how he never got the chance to date a real girl; one who didn't want to eat him, for starters. 

This was it; his life was over before it even started. Will apologized over and over again in his head for being such a useless coward. He shut his eyes tightly, hating himself for not trying harder. In the end, _that_ monster was right. He was a good for nothing piece of s-

Wait. Didn’t it kind of smell just like…?

Will frowned. The fact his febrile mind had brought it up didn’t meant he should sniff it in his death bed! What kind of disrespect was that?!

He suddenly felt the hold on him loosening, startling him for a second. After the initial shock, however, Will seized the oportunity to get his nose away from the nymphs' slimmy torso and fill his lungs with so much needed oxigen.

-Not liking it, huh? Well, too bad for you, 80’s Japanese movie monster wannabe!

In spite of not being able to see the newcomer, Will could have recongized that obnoxious laughter anywhere. With a strong push, added to the loose grip Neela now had him on, the small boy managed to get away unscated. Well, sort of; he landed hard on his butt.

-Hey there, scaredy cat! You okay?

Will raised his eyes to stare at his brother. He was wearing a peg on his nose, and was blending what looked like a…

-B-Bill! Is that p-?

-Don’t say it!- screeched Bill, a little green in the face -just don’t say it, I’m barely keeping my lunch down as it is

-Ah, oka- Watch out!

A sharp claw cut trough the air, and hit the ground right on the spot they had just been standing in with a loud boom. Neela screeched, enraged; her other… paw? Claw? Clenching at her nose. Will’s eyes widened with understanding.

-Her nose! She’s got a really sensitive nose! Bill, how did you-?

-No time for explanations William, move it!

-R-right, this way!

Both kids ran as if their lives depended on it. Well, Will’s really did; considering he had been marked as a nymph’s mate, and thus was sentenced to die if Neela did caught up to them.

The nymph’s screeches and growls sent birds flying off everywhere above their heads in terror. Will’s legs were about to give out, but he finally glimpsed what he had been looking for: the crooked tree, the one that marked the entrance to the forest.

-We’re almost there Bill!

-We better be, Scaredy; I’m not about to become food for your babies!

-Nothing happened!!

-You denying it so vehemently makes me think something did happen… wait no, agh! I don’t need that image in my head!

-Your own fault, pervert!

-HEY! Who you callin- AH!!

Will paused and looked behind him; his mouth opened in horror. Bill had tripped, and Neela was nearing at a breakneck speed. He ran towards the older twin, but the blonde’s arm shot up in alarm.

-Run, you idiot! I’ll be fine

Neela, now in the trees just behind them, screeched:

-Nooooo!! My sweet, clean, delicate groom! I will never find someone as poised as you!

-Fu-Piss off!- shouted Bill, red in the face -don’t try acting civilized now! What’s with that speech anyway? You talking of Will as a dandy gentleman really pisses me off!

A gentleman…

Gentle.

Wait. That was it!

-What the hell are you waiting for, Scaredy?! She’s almost here… wait, the heck are you doin’?!

Closing his eyes, Will had begun to rub dirt all over himself. His hair, his clothes, his neck… even his poor nails. Complimenting it with a little bit of spit (and shuddering inwardly), he passed his fallen brother and stood in front of a very confused Neela.

-Wha-? My prince?

-Y-y-y-you, y-y-you-

Neela cocked her head; Will breathed deeply. This was harder than he thought.

-Y-you look like an ugly fish!

-…

-…

-…HUH?!- exclaimed the nymph and Bill at the same time. But Will wasn’t deterred; he raised a shaky finger and pointed at his self-proclaimed bride, who flinched in response.

-Your hair i-i-is ugly! And you ha-have cooties!!

The nymph coiled on herself and… started sniffing. Bill, for his part, just stared at his younger sibling without blinking.

-Y-your appearance better befits that of a… a… er…. a muddy swamp, yes! A muddy swamp!

-No, stop!- Bill glanced at the increasingly distressed nymph; he snorted.

-And don’t make me begin with your breath, it reeks! It’s like something died in there!

-Please, no more…

-And your eyes are like a dead fish! Gross! Who would even like something like you?

-STOOOOPPPP!!!!

Will smirked, ready to delve the finishing blow.

-And you know what else? YOU.SMELL.REALLY.BAD!!!

-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

And Neela, with a final ear deafening screech, crawled back to the depts of the forest. Her cries echoed all over the place, until they were nothing more than a buzz in the distance.

William helped a stunned Bill to his feet. When he showed no signs of reacting on his own, he took his hand and pulled him along.

-… You surprise me little bro

The youngest of them both blinked.

-R-really?

-Yeah, really; where did you learn to treat the ladies?

-Er… I don’t know, I’m just nice

-Just nice?

-Just nice

Bill laughed whole heartedly.

-Well, look at that; who would have thought you would turn out to be such a ladies man? I’m so proud!

The blue haired boy flushed red, and started punching his brother in the arm.

-That’s not true!

-It is! I’ll tell Melody that the perfect little boy got a girlfriend!

-Bill, stop it!

-Will and Neela sitting on a tree! K-I-HELL NO! I don’t need that mental image, gross!

-Who told you to?! Idiot!

The two boys chased each other gleefully as they made their way to their home; smoke already coming from the chimney in long, puffy clouds.

.

.

.

A lone pink, glittery bubble went out of the forest and popped. The girlish giggle it let out wasn’t heard by no one but the trees and the animals at the edge of the woods.

Well, by them and the shadow looming amongst the trees. A pair of oddly bright eyes observed the retreating backs of the twins till the moment they went out of sight; a sigh escaped from a pair of intangible lips and, with a last blink, the eyes disappeared within the foliage.

.

.

.

That night, after a rather long bath and a discussion with Melody to have “the talk” one of these days (much to both their chagrins); Bill flipped through the book he had found.

He was deep in thought, caressing each page with wonder. It had been of great help; as in, saving their sorry asses kind of help.

It was more like a field journal, really. It listed a rather long list of oddities that inhabited Zero Gravity, specially within the Dark Woods. There were some stuff he couldn’t really understand, as it was heavily encrypted; like the knowledge behind them was too secret, too dangerous for normal people to understand.

But Bill did understand. Not everything, but he had indeed broke some of the easier codes; after all, he liked solving riddles and puzzles as a way to kill time.

What little he had managed to understand filled him with a giddy sensation. Even in the normal part of the journal, the author talked about powerful beings; 10, if the zodiac circle in one of the pages was anything to go by. Everyone knew them as “the guardians”; Zero Gravity’s guardians that kept the peace and balance of this dimension. What intrigued him, however, were these creatures… how to put it? Pieces? Gears? Well, objects that belonged solely to them; so he guessed magical artifacts was more accurate.

The crypting he had managed to solve said that, once put together, these artifacts would grant the caster a power beyond imagination. The power to rule the world; to bend the rules of nature at his or her whim with just a snap of the fingers.

To _alter_ reality.

Bill smirked.

Oh boy, it seemed that God or any other paranormal entity (he didn’t really care), was finally smiling down on upon the Cipher brothers.

With the thoughts of a new world order in mind and his brother happy, sleeping face in sight; Bill drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow he would tell Will he had finally (finally!) found a way to ensure everything remained as it was; fun and joyful.

.

.

.

_Somewhere, deep in the Dark Woods, dwells an ancient mystic fortress._

_Hidden from human eye, it has remained as such for as long as the world has been._

_Ten seats, eight occupied, are set in a circle. Above them, the cosmos blinks back, reflected on the ceiling._

_-…The unavoidable has happened; they found it, one of the journals- uttered a calm, yet tired voice._

_A figure to the far right hummed; the one right next to it nearly growled:_

_-It was_ your job _to keep this from happening! Now two kids have access to that… that thing!_

 _-Hm, but it did happen; no use to complain now- he reached out to its companion in a comforting way -believe me, I too_ am _indeed worried for them_

_At that, the other backed down; mutterings a few curses under its breath, it eventually went quiet._

_-Well then, now what are we to do?- asked other in a gentle, well-mannered tone._

_-Now- said a deep, rich voice -now we wait_

_-If we do that- chirped back a velvet like one -it may be too late_

_-I agree- then added the usually silent one, its monotone tone clear and calm -that, too, happened the last time_

_-Maybe…-grumbled now a gruff one -but that’s why they were sent to watch over them; we have to trust our leaders’ judgement_

_-It’s not them I don’t trust; it’s those children, their hearts may be in the right place, but...- the velvet voice sighed -But I guess you’re right, now-_

_-Now we wait- echoed the rest of the figures, disappearing into thin air._

_And the grand mystic fortress of the Dark Woods was, once again, empty._

_Empty as it always is and yet isn’t in our time and space. As it always was in the ones that came before; and will be in the one that will come after._

_The fortress always was, is and will be neither_ here _nor_ there _; at the same time, it always was, is and will be_ here _and_ there _._

_You see?_

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_Next up: Chapter III “Meet the townsfolk; or a tour around Zero Gravity hosted by Bill Cipher, to Will Cipher’s disapproval and the Mayor’s amusement”_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the late update, I hope the length kind of compensates it... Anyway, thanks for reading! (Chapter sponsored by Smoochy Fangus deodorant, motto: if you wanna be clean, don't go to the ***** swamp)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! Will update aproximately once every week; hopefully. Work has a tendency to get in the way sometimes, though


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